tubular, adjective:
1. Relating to “the tubes”, A.K.A. “The Series of Tubes”, A.K.A. “The Internet”.
Ex (1). I never read news that isn’t tubular. So long, printed newspapers!
If we don’t start using tubular, I’m going to be forced to invent the adjective internet-y.
interrobang, verb:
1. Interrogate + bang = To be questioned unexpectedly during intercourse, foreplay, or other sexual activity by a partner, usually ending the activity to a screeching halt.
Ex (1). In the throws of passion, my partner interrobanged me, and I felt the heat of the moment quickly slipping away, chilling my bare butt. I also realized that, in the blur of excitement, I had kneeled on a porcupine, and was now shouting and grabbing at my kneecap.
interrobang, noun:
1. A serious question posed during intercourse, foreplay, or other sexual activity.
Ex (1). “Is this a relationship or are we just dating?”
2. The punctuation used to end the hurried, futile response to an interrobang.
Ex (2). “Wha– Can’t we argue about vocabulary later?!– OH MY GOD A PORCUPINE! ARRGH, IT STINGS! IT BURNS!”
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush, phrase:
1. A person who would rather masturbate than ever, ever have sex in the natural outdoors again, usually due to fear or previous trauma.
sentencement, noun:
1. A sentence fragment.
2. As in, I meant to finish that sentence.
Ex (1). Sullenly, the snail on a railroad track.
languagement, noun:
1. Language + sentiment = Sentiments about language.
2. An alteration of words which creates an alternate vocabulary. The new words are often confusing but sometimes surprisingly understandable.
Ex (2). “Languagement” is itself a languagement.
language, verb:
1. Recreation of one’s language.
2. Recreation with one’s language.
3. To recreate your language (including, but not limited to, combining words to make new words, making puns, digging up archaic words, intentionally misrepresenting the origin of words through backwards logic, using the original meaning of words which are generally understood to have a completely different, modern meaning) and generally drive people crazy and/or make English teachers pull out their hair in frustration when they read your essay.
Ex (3). I languaged my analysis of “Jabberwocky” to drive home the point the poem makes about syntax… and because I hate my classmates who will have to read and workshop the draft.